just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
