smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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