i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
