Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
