Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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