he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
