Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize