Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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