i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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