kristin has been a bad kristin
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you never un-have a 4some
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
