Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
