YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
