we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
