So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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