I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
