it's like iHOP with fire
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
