What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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