we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
