You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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