I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
