i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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