...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
