I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
