Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
