If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
