how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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