He had one of those small greek statue penises
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
