It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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