after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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