the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
