Don't make out with my wife yet
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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