i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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