Already got asked if we're dating
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
