we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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