i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
