I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
