I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
