508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
