He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize