my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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