You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
