I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
