I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
