i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
