the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
