I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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