OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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