i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
