Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
