I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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