At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
