it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
then he tried to convert me to islam
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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