Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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