Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
