Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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