I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
