a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
