please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
