I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
