look no pants
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
