Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
