He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
