What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
