and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
