Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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