She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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