He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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