guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
