dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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