it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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