Having a random hookup so left but love u
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
